Insensitive Jerk

If God asks you to pull his finger, don't do it.

Joshua the Prophet was created by God himself, three hours ago, in a pod that resembled a porta-potty hurtling toward Earth. As he approached the humans at divine velocity, Joshua knew he was made for a mission, and it would be so cool to know what it was. God had refused to explain His Divine Plan, saying only that it would be more fun as a surprise.

Joshua suspected he'd been sent to save humanity from the aliens. They had finally made the momentous First Contact, which turned out to be a prank. Now the alien bastards had offered humanity a shortcut to Christian sainthood, Old-Testament style. If you accept their turbocharged grace, the aliens will transform you into the unholy offspring of Mother Theresa and Dirty Harry.